Akatsuki Meetings
by Aaron The Night Watcher
Summary: It's hard to have a meeting. Especially if one of your members dies at every single one.
1. Chapter 1

NARUTO!

Akatsuki Meetings!

Akatsuki Meeting 1!

Madara stood on his finger and stared around at the other members of his evil organization , Akatsuki. It hadn't been easy to make the organization or find the members , but alas , he did. Now they could do whatever they wanted. Madara smiled. He said,

" Okay. Welcome to Akatsuki everyone. Now who's got an idea on how to capture the tailed beasts?" He waited. " Anyone?" Silence. " Come on people. This isn't that hard. Just use your brains and come up with a plan." Pain scratched his head and looked up at the ceiling. Pain snapped his fingers and said,

" I've got it." Madara looked at him and asked,

" Yes?."

" We could use your moons eye plan to take over the world." Madara stared at him and said,

" Uh………….No. Any other suggestions?." Deidra rose his hand and said,

" I've got an idea." Madara looked at him and asked,

" Yes what is it?." Deidra replied,

" We could gather all of the tailed beast chak-," All of a sudden, Deidra collapsed on to the ground. Madara opened his sharingan wide and asked,

" Uh……….is he okay?." Itachi walked over to him and checked his pulse. He looked up at, Madara and said,

" I think he's dead."

" WHAT?! What do you mean he's dead? I mean I never liked the asshole but, WHAT THE HELL?! Now we only have nine members. WHAT THE FUCK CAN WE DO WITH THAT?!." Kisame smiled and said,

" We could have bake sales." Madara turned his sharing an on him. " Shutting up." Kiasame wet himself. Itachi snickered. Madara sighed and rubbed his temples. He asked,

" Can't we revive him? Isn't there some way to do that?." Pein said,

" There is one way, but uh I need to stick a dead weasel in his ass." Madara stared at him for a second and said,

" No. Just burn his body and we'll reconvene tomorrow." All the Akatsuki members walked away mumbling.

End of Chapter One!


	2. Chapter 2

NARUTO!

Akatsuki Meetings!

Akatsuki Meeting 2!

Pain walked in to the meeting room where the rest of the, Akatsuki members were waiting. Madara looked at him and said,

" You're late." Pain replied,

" Forgive me, Madara. But I brought us a new member. His name is Zakukhan."

" And?." Pain stared at him for a really long time and then asked,

" And?." Madara slapped his hand over his eyes.

" WHY SHOULD I MAKE HIM A MEMBER?!." Pain rose his eyebrows and said,

" Oh. Grouchy today are we?." Madara growled. " Okay. Show him your ability kid." Zakukhan nodded and the showed him his ability………which was to fall asleep. Madara sighed.

" Idiots. I'm surrounded by idiots. Now tell me, Pain. How is someone who falls asleep all the time going to be of use to us?." Pain started thinking. And thinking. And thinking. And finally he thought some more.

" My brains starting to hurt." Madara sighed.

" Alright. On with our meeting. Now dose anyone have any type of diabolical plan whatsoever in their tiny pea sized brain? Hm? Anyone? Konan how about you?." Suddenly, Konan jumped up with a fright for being recognized and then fell off her finger. She hit the ground and snapped her neck. "What..the…hell? Sasori go check if she's still alive." Sasori jumped down and checked her pulse. He shook his head. Madara kicked the wall. " DAMN IT! DAMN IT! DAMN IT!DAMN IT! DAMN IT! OW!." Pain asked,

" What?." Madara said,

" I THINK I SHATTERED ALL OF THE BONES IN MY FOOT!." Pain sighed.

End of Chapter 2!


	3. Chapter 3

NARUTO!

Akatsuki Meetings!

Akatsuki Meeting 3!

Madara stared at the other members. He smiled. He had a good feeling about this meeting. Nothing could possibly go wrong. They just added their newest second member, Haraku and now they were ten once again. Madara smiled. He felt pleased with himself. Maybe he would actually make it through one meeting without somebody dying. The odds were like twenty one to one thousand. He was certain no one would die this time. This meeting was going to be the best. It was going to be perfect. Nothing could possibly go wrong. Nothing. It was going to be-

All of a sudden, Kisame started to cough violently. Madara said,

" Someone get him a drink of water." Kisame continued to cough until suddenly he coughed up his lungs and then fell off his finger. His body landed on the ground dead. Madara blinked. He looked up at, Pain.

" You know I'm starting to think maybe we're cursed." Pain shrugged.

The End!


	4. Chapter 4

NARUTO!

Akatsuki Meetings!

Akatsuki Meeting 4!

Madara stood on his finger and sighed. He said,

" You know I'm starting to think this whole Akatsuki thing just isn't worth it." Haraku asked,

" Why?." Madara replied,

" Well people keep dying every time we have a meeting and well, it gets a little annoying." Haraku nodded.

" I can see how that would be annoying. Ready to start the next meeting?." Madara nodded. He sighed.

" Alright. Dose anybody have any ideas on what we could to do take over the world?." He pointed at, Itachi. " Itachi you're an Uchiha. Give us your insight." Itachi replied,

" My insight is to deep to go in to this conversation." Madara stared at him and then blinked. He looked at Zetsu and then asked,

" What did he just say?." Zetsu said,

" Why don't you welcome out newest member since you haven't done that yet?." Madara stared at him for a really long time and then asked,

" Newest member?." Zetsu slapped his hands over his eyes and said,

" The one to replace, Kisame." He asked,

" Kisame?." Zetsu said,

" He died at our last meeting. Remember?." Madara replied,

" Oh the fish prick. I remember that asshole. I'm glad he's gone. I never like that son of a bitch anyways." Madara smiled. Zetsu stared at him. " What?." Zetsu said,

" Newest member?." He said,

" You're an old member." Zetsu slapped his hands over his eyes and said,

" Our newest member that's replacing, Kisame. Introduce him to us since we don't know what his name is." Madara just stared at him. " Fine. YOU!." He pointed at the newest member. " What's your name?." The newest member replied,

" Hokadashi." Zetsu said,

" Welcom, Hokasashi." Suddenly a harpoon flew through the air and stabbed, Sasori through the heart. Sasori said,

" Oh….shit." Then he fell over dead. Madara looked up.

" WHO DID THAT?!." He turned and saw, Haraku holding a harpoon gun and whistling. " MEETING ADJOURNED! DAMN IT!."

The End!


	5. Chapter 5

NARUTO!

Akatsuki Meetings!

Akatsuki Meeting 5!

Madara stood on his finger and looked at their newest member. He said,

" Everyone welcome out newest member, Zakoa." Zakoa waved. He said,

" Hello everyone I-" Pain said,

" SHUT UP!." Zakoa shut up. Madara said,

" Thank you , Pain. Alright. On with our next meeting. Now dose anyone have a plan that involves the raping and burning of cats?." Pain looked at him and asked,

" Cats? Raping and Burning ? Huh?." Hokadashi started to say something but, Madara pointed at him and shouted,

" SHUT UP NEWBIE! YOU'LL GET YOUR TURN WHEN YOUR TIME COMES!." He shut up. " Alright, thank you. Come on people. We need a new plan. Give me ideas." Suddenly an axe flew through the air and sliced, Hidan in two. Madara blinked. " WHAT THE FUCK?! ALRIGHT WHO DID IT?! WHO KILLED HIM?! SPEAK UP!." A voice said,

" Uh, it was me. It was an accident." Madara looked up at Hokadashi.

"Aren't you one of our newest members?." He nodded. He said,

" You interrupted me. I don't like to be interrupted. That's why I killed, Hidan." Madara said,

" Really." Next he pulled out a gun and shot, Hokadashi through the heart. Hokadashi fell to the ground with a thud. " And I just killed you cause I felt like it fuck wad. Meeting adjourned. See you all next week. AND FIND ME TWO NEW MEMBERS!."

End of Chapter 5!


	6. Chapter 6

NARUTO!

Akatsuki Meetings!

Akatsuki Meeting 6!

Madara stared at their two new members. Their names were, Yokunan and Itaki. Madara smiled. This time he felt really good about this. He felt that they would actually make it through. He felt-

" Oh bugger." Madara looked up to see, Zetsu with a sword stabbed through his heart and, Itachi on the other end of it. Madara walked up behind, Itachi and slapped him upside the head.

" WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?! Why did you stab Zetsu?." Itachi said,

" He disrespected the sharingan."

" And that was a reason to kill him?."

" He also disrespected the, Uchia clans name."

" Oh. Well that's a good enough reason." He kicked, Zetsu's dead body. " Eat that asshole. Find me a new member."

End of Chapter 6!


	7. Chapter 7

NARUTO!

Akatsuki Meetings!

Akatsuki Meeting 7!

Madara stood on his finger and sighed. He said,

" I want everyone to welcome our newest member, Sashi." Sashi waved. Itachi said,

" So what's our plan going to be now that we're all together?." Madara said,

" What do you mean plan? I haven't thought that far ahead yet. I mean I suppose we could come up with a plan if you actually want to, but that requires thinking and that's not really one of my strong points. WAIT I'VE GOT IT!." Suddenly a sword went flying through the air and sliced off, Kakuzu's head. His body fell to the ground. Madara stared. And stared. And stared. He blinked. " Is he dead?." Itachi rolled his eyes and said,

" YES HE'S DEAD!." Madara said,

" Well……fuck. Now we've got to find a new member. Meeting adjourned."

The End!


	8. Chapter 8

NARUTO!

Akatsuki Meetings!

Akatsuki Meeting 8!

Madara stood on his finger and said,

" Everyone welcome out newest member, Dr. Evil." Dr. Evil waved. " Okay. Now-,"

" SHIT!." Madara looked up and saw, Itachi lying on the ground with his head chopped off. He looked at, Pein who was holding an axe. Madara said,

" Would you care to explain that?." Pein said,

" It was an accident. I swear." Madara growled.

" Find me another member." Madara walked away and began to think, maybe having an organization of ten members just wasn't worth it.

End of Chapter 8!


	9. Chapter 9

NARUTO!

Akatsuki Meetings!

Akatsuki Meeting 9!

Madara stared around at the other members of, Akatsuki. Madara stated,

" Everyone welcome our newest member. Itachi's replacement, Zack." Zack waved. " Alright. Does anyone have a plan?" Silence. " Anyone?" More silence. Madara sighed and pulled a ping pong ball out of his pocket. Next he tossed it off the finger. The ping pong ball started to fall to the ground. Pain looked up and said,

" OH MY GOD A PING PONG BALL!." Next he jumped off his finger and then crashed to the ground and broke his neck. Madara rose his eyebrow and cocked his head to the side. Madara shouted,

" FIND ME ANOTHER MEMBER! DAMMIT!."

End of Chapter : 9!


	10. Chapter 10

NARUTO!

Akatsuki Meetings!

Akatsuki Meeting 10!

Madara stood and looked at their newest member, Bo Bo. He sighed. He could not believe he was the only original member left. Madara felt like crying. He put his hand on his face and sighed. It wasn't easy trying to run an evil organization. Heck it wasn't easy running it without the original members anymore. All the new members were pretty much retarded compared to his intellect. He didn't know if he could go on. Trying to take over the world is one thing, but trying to do it with a bunch of people who can't even count to three is impossible. Madara then started to wonder why he even created, Akatsuki in the first place. What's the point of having an evil organization if you can't have people as smart as you. Oh well. Madara sighed. It was time to begin their next meeting. This time he knew everything was going to go right. This time nothing would go wrong. He smiled insanely. Madara said,

" Alright. Now- ACK!." Next, Madara grabbed his chest, spun around in a circle and fell off his finger. Next his body fell to the ground. All the other members stared down at his lifeless body. Zack said,

" I think he's dead."

The End!


End file.
